He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
