i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
