Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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