im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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