i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
