Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
