So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
how does that bad decision feel?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
