could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
