i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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