How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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