TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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