Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
