So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize