ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
if only i could text you this smell
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
