You work out of a Hotel?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
