even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
