haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
