if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
