Well douche your snatch and let's go!
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
