who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
