in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
