i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's blow job season.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
