I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
