Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
