1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just want to make out with him forever
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
