Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
