She's JV to your varsity
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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