A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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