i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
