Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
