Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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