He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You smell like stripper and shame
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
