I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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