it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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