You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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