I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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