To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
