you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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