wake up i wanna do it froggy style
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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