i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
