I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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