I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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