i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
