All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
