David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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