Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize