he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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