i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
whose parrot is this?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
