Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Drake has all the answers
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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