Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
