just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dick very happy bro
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
