Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize