Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
