If that was your dad, he is hot
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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