He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
