Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
