What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
