I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
