He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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