I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize