rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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