i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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