wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
