i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
