Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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