Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
