Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
